Blues and Heavy Metal
by Dogmatix
Summary: An injudicious adventure leads a young Thor and Loki into Jotunheim, where a Jotun 'curses' Loki.  eventual Thor/Loki
1. Chapter 1

Blues and Heavy Metal

Chapter 1

"Loki! Loki where are you?" the young Aesir called. Huffing in annoyance, he looked down one branch of the underground corridor he faced, then the other. "Aargh," he opined, scuffling a hand through short blond hair. "Loki, mother is calling us for supper! Brother!" Thor scrunched up his face determinedly. He _would_ find his brother.

Picking a corridor, he wandered down it. "Loooookiiiii! Loooo-hmph!"

"Shh!" Loki hissed, hand clamped over his over-loud brother's mouth. He glanced quickly out into the corridor, then dragged Thor further into the darkened alcove.

"Brother, this is no time for games," Thor huffed, only to have Loki shush him again.

"Would you be quiet? I have discovered something."

"What? Is it a monster? Is it hiding down here? We should kill it-!"

"Shhh! It might be a monster, and _no_ you can't kill it," Loki glared. "Not yet, anyway. He comes down here every week. And disappears into a passage that doesn't exist."

"Huh?"

"A spy, brother. I think someone is spying on Asgard." Even Loki couldn't keep the excitement from his voice as peered intently back down the way Thor had come. True, they were yet only children, but they were princes of Asgard also, fated to protect Asgard and all who lived here. ...And if he could uncover a spy, see where the man went and reveal him to Father…

Loki was good with a sword, but Thor was better. Loki was good at archery, but Thor was better. Always, his brother outshone him. But this, this was Loki's chance to be better.

Footsteps echoed softly down the corridor, and even Thor fell silent, wide-eyed and wondering as he looked at Loki, who nodded, feeling a reckless grin on his face.

A man that could have been one of any of the hundreds of unobtrusive servants walked confidently past, stride purposeful and sure.

He glanced behind him as he walked, and the brothers pressed themselves back into the darkness, fortunately deep and murky, for the lower corridors are generally ill-lit.

The Aesir glanced further down the corridor then simply turned and walked into, no, _through_ the wall.

Thor gasped softly, then slipped past Loki and arrowed straight to where the wall wasn't.

Loki gaped in surprise. Surely even Thor couldn't mean to- but he did. He had! What if the man caught Thor? Loki raced forward, flinging himself at the wall with arms braced for impact. Instead he bumped into his idiotic older brother, who had stopped just inside the dank passage. They could still hear the servant/spy somewhere ahead of them.

He hadn't heard them, good. Loki gripped Thor's arm and tried to pull him out, but the idiot only grabbed Loki's wrist in turn and started dragging them after the spy. Loki could have put up a struggle, but that would make noise, which was a bad idea.

Slowly the steps ahead of them got quieter and quieter as the spy outpaced them. Loki glanced around them, taking in the passage. It was cold, and dank. The floor was tilted slightly downward, and the walls were close together, narrowing further as they descended, leaning in and down. There was a light, faint and cool, that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere.

White started to plume out in front of the brothers as it grew colder, and now the walls and floor started to give way to bare earth, packed hard and frozen. Roots wound through here and there, and the passage closed around them claustrophobically until they almost had to twist sideways to make it through.

The spy's footsteps had gone silent, leaving them only with their own breathing and the distant, lonely howl of wind.

Still they walked, down and down. The warm palace corridor was a distant memory as Loki felt Thor start to shiver.

Finally they reached the mouth of the passage. Beyond lay ice and snow, and a howling wind like a ravenous wolf that whipped away any traces of the spy they had been following. Frozen cliffs and shattered buildings thrust jagged edges at the dark sky as the two boys stared disbelievingly at the world they found themselves in.

"W-where-?" Thor asked, dumbfounded.

Loki's brain jolted into action. This was never Asgard. That left a few options, but somehow he knew, bone-deep. "Jotunheim. We're in Jotunheim."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Loki knew it was the wrong thing to say even as the words left his mouth. His hands closed around empty air as Thor ducked around him to stand on the frozen stone of Jotunheim, home of the dreaded Frost Giants.

"No. Thor- Thor!" Loki called as his _idiot_ brother rushed off into the whirling snow. "Where are you going?"

Thor grinned back at Loki, eyes bright with the possibility of adventure. "I would see a Frost Giant, brother! Would that not be marvelous?" he yelled back over the howling wind, "Come along, brother!" And then he was gone.

Loki stared, aghast. They were in no way dressed for Jotunheim, they had no weapons _at all_, and nobody even knew they were missing from Asgard.

Heimdall. If he called Heimdall's name, the guardian might hear and come to their aid. But… that would mean getting into trouble, and he wouldn't be able to lay his prized knowledge at his father's feet… No. There was nothing for it but to get the both of them back safely. Heimdall would be a last resort.

Saying some very bad words under his breath, Loki ducked out after Thor, glancing back and up to memorize the slender black crack in the earthen wall that indicated the passage home. At least it wasn't covered with illusion on this end. Grimly Loki followed Thor's mad scramble, heart in his throat. Why did being a warrior mean that Thor had no _brain_?

Loki managed to keep Thor barely in sight as he skidded across frozen patches of earth and stumbled over the ever-present rubble. Thor found a path leading up a shattered tower, crumbling steps winding around it like a snake. Loki was going to hide frogs in Thor's bed for a _week_, he thought as he followed his brother, hugging the tower wall, rising stone steps too slick and unstable for comfort.

"Thor!" Loki called as loudly as he dared, staring at the yawning gap in the stairs with horror. Thor had jumped it without trouble, but Loki wasn't nearly so confident of his own jumping aptitude. Miracle of miracles, his brother stopped and looked back. But he only pulled an impatient face at Loki, waiting for him to cross the gap.

Stomach lurching, Loki gathered his courage, resisted the urge to close his eyes, and leaped. Frogs for a _month_, he swore even as he landed awkwardly on the other side and Thor grinned widely.

Thor would never turn back now, Loki realized. Better to stay with him until the cold dulled the keen edge of adventure, then get them both back as quickly as possible. Already he could see Thor's steps becoming clumsy as cold leeched feeling from his brother's extremities – they were both dressed for a warm Asgardian day, after all, not a howling Jotunheim storm.

Thor looked out over the shattered realm around them, standing much too close to the edge for Loki's comfort. "Brother," he began to caution Thor, just as a chilling gust of snow-laden wind whipped his black hair into his eyes, and nudged Thor off balance.

Loki could see it, that fraction of balance extended too far. Frozen feet and numb fingers too clumsy, reacting too slowly. No thought now, only action, and Loki found himself lunging forward, grabbing Thor by the wrist. But he was too late, too light, too weak. Catching each other as they fell, Thor hit the stairs below them with a glancing blow, driving the breath from him.

Tumbling, Loki smacked into the stone wall, pain exploding from his skull, and they were airborne again, flung apart from each other and away from the tower like unwanted pests, and the entire world was wind and snow.

They landed hard on sloping snow and rolled, finally coming to rest at the bottom of the tower. Stunned, Loki stared up at the whirling snow, breath wheezing and head pounding. Thor. Where was-? He rolled over, lifting himself on his hands and looking around groggily.

At first he only noticed that his hands were warm in a distant, unimportant way. "Thor," he croaked. Closed his eyes to squeeze out the tears and breathed deep. "Thor!" he tried again. Maybe _now_ they could go home. Warmth was radiating from his hands, up his arms and shoulders. Loki looked down. His hands were blue.

Something growled, and foul breath ruffled his hair. Heart in his throat, Loki looked up into the sleep-befuddled stare of an animalistic Jotun. Loki had fallen onto the back of a sleeping Frost Giant hidden in the snow. A Frost Giant which was now awake.

He was going to die, Loki realized, alarm burning and freezing him at the same time. Red eyes blinked awake, focusing on Loki, then it roared, deafening and grating, and everything was a confusion of motion.

Someone yelled, Loki rolled off into the snow, and the Jotun lunged forward. No, wait, that was Thor, throwing himself onto the Jotun. Letting go, Thor dropped down, scrambling out of the way of a screaming, descending maw.

Thor grabbed Loki and yanked him along, running as fast as frozen legs could carry him. Scrambling for his wits, Loki pulled them sideways. They had to get back the way they'd come, get back to the passage. "This way!" he yelled.

Angling to where Loki hoped the passage was, the brothers pelted over the frozen landscape, lungs burning, spurred on by the guttural roars behind them. Thor swore, probably because he didn't have so much as a carving knife. Loki didn't dare risk a glance back – he had no concentration to spare for magic, nor the arsenal to take down anything like the monster on their heels.

There! There it was! Putting on a burst of speed, they flew over the ground, throwing themselves desperately into the crack in the cliff-face.

The Jotun slammed into the cliff an instant behind them, making the stone shudder and shift around them. Not stopping to catch their breath, they slid down the narrow passage, getting away from the enraged giant as quickly as they could. Even when the roars had faded into the distance they didn't stop, making good time through the dark passage.

When the air around them had turned warm and the light was once more warm yellow instead of frozen blue, Thor sagged against the wall, hands on knees, laughing and gasping. Loki sagged down against the opposite wall, knees buckling out from under him. Frogs, he promised himself. Frogs and _slugs_.

They looked at each other, and Loki saw Thor's laughter drop into shock and something like horror. "L-Loki?"

"What?" Loki asked, dread pooling in his stomach. Frantically, he tried to pinpoint what Thor was freaking out about, because Thor didn't freak out about much of anything, which meant it was probably _serious_ and-

Thor reached out, fingertips just barely brushing Loki's cheek as Loki flinched away. "Brother… what…?"

Loki looked down at his hands. Felt his heart falter. Raised one discoloured hand. Loki's hands were Jotun hands, blue-grey and horrible. "no. no no nonononoNoNO!"

"Brother! Loki!" Thor yelled, grabbing both of Loki's hands. "Calm down, Brother!"

Breathing hard and sharp, Loki stared up at Thor in the next-best thing to blind panic. Biting back hysterical screams, Loki clutched Thor's hands hard, anchoring himself. Forcing his breathing to slow, Loki tried to think. "I- I saw this, I think. When I fell on the Jotun, I thought I saw my hands become- I-"

"The thing cursed you?" Thor demanded, equal parts shocked and outraged.

"Y-yes," Loki quavered, staring at the horrible blue hands Thor held so tightly.

"Can we fix it?" Thor asked, ever practical.

"I. I don't know."

They stayed like that for a moment, clinging to each other, as tears began to well in Loki's burning red eyes.

Setting his jaw in that stubborn line Loki knew so well, the elder brother took one of Loki's hands in both of his, cradling it like it was physically wounded. Leaning forward, he placed his lips gently on blue skin, like Mother did to kiss it better.

Loki's breath caught as a soothing coolness flushed over his heated skin, warm peach dissolving hated blue like dawn light driving back the night. Encouraged by his success, Thor did the same to Loki's other hand, then laid a gentle but intent kiss on each of Loki's cheeks.

Drawing back, Thor stared at Loki seriously, reaching over to tug Loki's shirt up, checking his stomach. Looked back up, and grinned widely, proudly. "All better!"

Loki laughed, squashing the part of himself that tried to insist that it made no sense. Thor was laughing too, in relief, in joy, and Loki found himself hugging his older brother with a fierce strength. As long as he had his brother, he thought, he could deal with any old Jotun curse.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Loki stared with unseeing eyes at the great golden hall. Assimilating the conversation that had just happened.

Loki was unutterably glad that he'd only gotten as far as telling Father about the spy. He hadn't breathed one word about going to Jotunheim, about the heart-pounding chase by the bestial Jotun, and especially not about the curse that Thor had fixed.

He hadn't gotten the chance. Father had made it excruciatingly clear that children, even – no, especially – princes, had no business sneaking around looking for dangerous spies or traitors, and that Loki was not to do anything like that ever again(or at least until he reached manhood), and that Odin would be Very Displeased if he did. Besides which, that particular spy was already known, and to be left strictly alone.

It was finally starting to sink in. All his effort, all the danger and sneaking around and careful observation, and it was all for nothing. Father would never praise his ingenuity, his daring. All his hard work, and what had it gotten him? A scolding. Being sent to bed without supper like a babe!

Loki's hands fisted and he choked back hot tears of frustration and shame. All for nothing. All for _nothing_!

He brought his hand up to wipe angrily at his hot, humiliating tears… and everything stopped.

His hand was blue.

TLTLTLTLTLTLT

Thor stopped, hand on the door. He'd closed his door when he left. The servants weren't usually that careless, and there was a soft, almost inaudible noise coming from inside. Pushing the door open, he peeked inside, uncharacteristically careful. "Hello?"

The noise stopped. His curtains were drawn, the room dark. "Is anyone there?" Thor scowled. "Show yourself, or I'll call the guards-"

"No!"

"Loki?" Thor blinked. Loki was supposed to be with his tutors. Loki never shirked his book-learning. Unlike Thor. "What are you doing here?"

"It- it's back," Loki wailed, and Thor was just able to make out a huddled ball of Loki on his bed.

"Back? What's back?" Thor closed the door behind him.

Loki raised his head, and Thor hissed. Loki's glowing Jotun eyes stared hopelessly at him.

"What happened?" Thor asked, clambering up on the bed and scooting over to Loki.

Loki shrank back into himself. "I. I went to tell Father about the spy and- and he said," Loki hiccupped, "said I w-was just a child and," he scrubbed furiously at his eyes, "that I should leave m-matters like that to adults and, and I left and th-then outside and the curse is b-back!"

"You didn't tell him about me?" Thor asked, indignant that Loki could leave him out of any recounting of their adventure.

Loki looked at him blankly for a second, then his face scrunched up around a welter of emotions. "I was going to!" he yelled, bursting out of his huddle to flail at Thor with balled fists, "I was going to before he _threw me out of the room_! I _should_have told him! Told him that this is your fault! This is all your fault!"

Thor fended off his brother's enraged flailing, sputtering, "It's not! It's not my fault at all!" But somewhere deep inside a part of him quailed at Loki's words. He _was_the one who'd insisted on following the spy. If he hadn't…

"Raaaaaarrrgh!" Loki replied, still flailing wildly.

They rolled, caught close to each other as Loki tried to punch Thor's nose in and Thor tried to hold Loki down.

Finally they came to a sweaty, exhausted halt, breathing heavily. Thor sprawled across Loki, feeling the cool radiating from Jotun flesh. For several minutes they lay still, until Loki spoke.

"I think it was because I was so upset. I think- I think it might happen every time I-" Loki stopped, unable to complete the thought. Thor understood all the same.

Thor moved his head until he was eyeball to eyeball with Loki. "You'll find a way to break the curse. You're good at magic and spells." It was true, too. Loki could solve anything magical, given enough time.

"I- Yes. Of course." Loki flicked his eyes away despondently.

Thor considered this, then leaned in, giving Loki a kiss on one cheek. He watched, fascinated, as Loki once more turned from Jotun stripling to Aesir prince. "And you know I shall ever be here when you need me. For anything."

Loki sighed, but Thor could see the small, acknowledging tilt of his brother's mouth.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: The boys were equivalent to human 10yr olds in the previous chapters. Here, they're more along the lines of 15 to 16. Oh, and that Thor/Loki I mentioned in the summary? Yeah.

Chapter 4

Loki turned the page, poring over the faded parchment and scrawled, nigh-illegible chickenscratch someone had the nerve to try to pass off as writing. Heaving a sigh, he leaned back, massaging his face.

At least it was quiet in the back room of the archives, air still and thick with dust. Nobody ever came back here, which made it both informative and a good hiding spot. He didn't need it as a hideaway as much as he had a few centuries ago, at least. He ran a hand ruefully along his smooth jawline. Thor's straggly beard had started coming in nicely, and his brother was inordinately proud of the wispy fuzz. Loki's face was still as smooth as a woman's, although Thor would just grin and challenge him to complain to Sif about that. Now there was a firebrand. If anyone could defy custom to become one of Thor's personal warriors, it was she.

Loki could almost call her a friend. He'd never been as gregarious as Thor even as a child, but since the curse, well… He'd taken a while to get ahold of his emotions enough to stop transforming every couple of days. In fact, he'd gotten really proficient at his illusion spell long, long before that. That illusion spell had come in very handy too - walking around with a hooded cape was only an amusing 'phase' if it lasted less than a decade.

And Thor… his brother was always there at the end of the day to check on him. During the hooded cape 'phase' Thor would find an excuse to follow Loki if he saw his brother slipping by, hood up. Even when Loki learned the illusion spell, Thor always seemed to know when the curse was active, and would catch Loki in a secluded area as soon as possible. If needed, Thor would deflect physical contact from Loki's Jotun-cool flesh or make excuses for his younger brother with a good-natured smile and not a hint of a lie around his eyes. They'd shared this secret so long, built the protective, deflective lies around it so strong that only Mother herself even stood a chance at cracking it.

Loki was of two minds about being the cause of Thor being able to lie so well, as well as his teacher in the art. Still, as future king of Asgard, his brother would need to learn the skill sometime, not to mention detecting lies and misdirection aimed _at_ him. Thor could never manage to lie to Loki though, and Loki was finding that his silver tongue tarnished when he turned it on his brother. About the important things, at least. Eventually Thor _would_stop believing that Loki was Sleipnir's mother. Maybe. But for now it was an amusing diversion, and it served Thor right for that 'hung like a horse' joke.

Shaking himself from contemplation, he turned back to the diary. It was a well-traveled uncle's, although sadly the man was long dead. It would have been so much easier to ask the man himself instead of deciphering his sometimes cryptic entries.

He sensed a looming presence over one shoulder even before Thor spoke. "Huhn. How can you read that?"

"Practice," Loki said, rubbing at tired eyes.

"What does it say?"

Thor would never be a scholar, but when it came to Loki's curse, he was as determined as a starving wolf with a bone.

"It chronicles our Uncle Lodur's journeys; this entry concerns Jotunheim. It looks like he was taking a tour of the nine realms. Mostly he speaks of the wonders of Vanaheim and the beauty of Alfheim, but Jotunheim was apparently quite the vacation spot as well."

"You jest, surely."

"Not for the weather, obviously." Loki crooked a wry smile back at his brother. "From what Uncle Lodur says, it sounds like the Jotun had a gorgeous city and were renowned for their center of learning."

"They were famous for a school?"

"Not quite. It sounds more like… a place where the wisest and most learned of the Jotun would come together to discuss and theorize about things they didn't know yet. Uncle Lodur mentions in passing that the Jotun built the great walls of Asgard, so they must have been accomplished engineers, too."

"But.. but-"

"It makes some sense – there were many ruins in Jotunheim when we were there – they had to have come from somewhere. It's not like you build a rubble-strewn gutted city. There had to have been a viable civilization there at one time."

"Smaller words, brother," Thor said, joking and ruffling Loki's black mop of hair.

Loki tried to suppress a grin as he leaned surreptitiously into the warm hand.

"So what happened to the Jotuns of old, to turn them to monsters?" Thor asked curiously.

"I still cannot find anything that speaks of that," Loki huffed in irritation. "There are smatterings of information here and there, up to the time before the war with the Jotun, and then… nothing. Nothing about why the Jotun started it, or what they hoped to accomplish."

"Do monsters need a reason to make war?"

"But they weren't monsters. Not then."

"Hmmm. Perhaps we can ask some of the older warriors."

"We tried that already, remember? When we were trying to find out what type of magic Jotuns wield. All I could find were old war dogs eager to tell of how many Jotun they'd slain in the most gruesome manner possible. Ask them what the Frost Giants were like outside of battle and all they gave me was a blank stare." Loki grimaced.

"Yes, that was my experience as well," Thor muttered.

"Well, enough for tonight," Loki straightened, cracking his spine and making to rise. "Time for supper, is it not?"

Thor's placed a warm, firm hand on Loki's arm, and gave him a steady look.

Loki sighed in defeat and let his illusion drop. Soft candlelight danced on blue skin and red eyes, Loki's cursed state now revealed. Thor must be quite used to his altered visage by now, Loki thought dryly. He certainly saw it often enough.

Thor grinned and leaned in. Loki turned his face up, waiting of the customary double kiss on his cheeks, but there was something different about this time, an… intensity. Thor kissed first one cheek, then the other. And didn't withdraw. Loki met his brother's eyes, puzzled. There was a daring, reckless glint in Thor's eyes, yet at the same time also a slight hesitancy. What-?

Thor leaned in again. Brushed dry lips over Loki's own. Gentle and testing, a question more than a statement.

Loki's eyes widened. Part of him wanted to sit back and ponder this development with the gravity it deserved. Before he could do any such sensible thing though, he found himself reaching up, pulling Thor close as he returned the kiss more forcefully, remembering at the last second to tilt his head just that fraction. Lips soft and dry, and Thor's beard tickling at his chin. And when they pulled back, flushed and wide-eyed, shocked at their own audacity, Loki laughed, softly and joyfully. Thor echoed him, leaning in again, and this time there was nothing hesitant about him.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Loki sat on the stone steps, letting the cold of the Treasure Chamber seep up into him. This was a last, desperate attempt, but he had to _know_. Loki had scoured all the libraries of Asgard, top to bottom and back again, spent thousands of hours over hundreds of years searching for something, anything, that would tell him how to counteract the curse that had been placed on him so many centuries ago.

His knowledge probably rivaled Odin's by now, and yet he still had not the least inkling of how to detect the curse, nevermind counteract it. He'd even gotten _used_ to it, to his cooling flesh making the air seem hotter, the way his sight adjusted easier to the dark spaces, and ached in bright light. And Thor 's first reaction to his cursed form was to _grin_, mostly because it inevitably led to the bedroom. Or at least the closest bed. Or wall. Or floor.

Loki hid his grin behind a concealing hand, shoulders twitching with suppressed laughter. Well, he supposed he didn't mind that part.

He'd even gained something of an appreciation for the Jotuns, the older sort at least, with their wondrous walls and cities that he'd only been able to catch glimpses of through scattered narratives.

While he didn't want to be a monster for the rest of his days, he hadn't been desperate enough to try this until yesterday. He and Thor had gone out hunting with Sif and the Warriors Three, and Loki had shown up late and already blue under his illusion. It was winter, snow still lying three feet deep in some places, and a cutting breeze had whined through the arches and walls around the courtyard. As Loki had mounted his horse, he'd found himself glad that the cold would not bite him as it otherwise would have, and thought of asking Thor not to reverse his curse until after their return.

The thought had left him colder than the wind around him. When had he become so at ease with it? That he could easily consider leaving it in place simply for a bit of warmth. True, he'd lived with it for more than half his life now, but…

If he didn't break it soon, he might stop caring altogether. The thought frightened Loki.

And so, the Casket of a Thousand Winters. Soberly, Loki approached the glowing blue artifact. Even after everything, he knew nothing of Jotun spellcasting. Thus he had been unable to pinpoint the curse's energy, and so, unable to work against it. But, if he could make the spell resonate with the Casket, which it surely would, he could at last identify the weave of the curse.

He reached out to the Casket slowly, feeling the low, deep hum of cataclysmic magicks slumbering under his palm. Even before he touched it, blue started to wash over his hands, the curse drawn to the surface via sympathetic resonance, as Loki had theorized. He closed his eyes to better concentrate on the energy twisting around him. There was the unmistakable energy of the Casket, like a frozen sun stretching from horizon to horizon. There were the thin strands of energy that were responding to it, which had to be the curse. But.. but that couldn't be right; it was his own magic that was singing in tune with the Casket, not the curse's magic at all. In fact, he couldn't feel anything new or different within him. Anywhere.

"Loki!"

Loki spun around, mind sputtering with the first sparks of new theories and trains of thought. "F-father, I-" he faltered. Being cursed like this was bad enough – he knew his Jotun visage was only too evident – but having kept that from his father for so long? And to have to confess it now, after being caught red-handed? This was not going to be pleasant. Where to even start? And could he keep Thor out of it?

Mind scrambling to pull together a convincing cover of half-truths and evasions, Loki was caught off guard when his father's shoulders hitched down and the royal gaze cut away from his for just a second.

"How long have you known?"

He couldn't make the question make sense at first. "How long have I-?" Loki's couldn't breathe, "known-?" The implications behind Odin's question turned his world to quicksand, casting him adrift. "Am I cursed?" he asked, desperately needing things to make sense again.

"No," Odin said, gently.

There was a dark roaring in Loki's ears as his world turned monstrous and unknown around him. "What am I?"

Odin stayed silent.

If he wasn't cursed- He turned into a Jotun when his emotions were high, and only Thor's touch reversed it, there was no other explanation, he had to be cursed, it had to be a curse, because otherwise- otherwise- "What am I?" he yelled.

"You are a Jotun, taken from Jotunheim on the eve of victory."

"Wha-?" Thor. Somehow, Thor was there, Thor _knew_. It had to be a nightmare, didn't it? Loki couldn't think, all this thoughts and plans and glib explanations shattered beyond repair.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Thor almost shouted, stalking past Odin, never taking his angry gaze off their father.

"I wanted to protect him," Odin glared at Thor, mouth setting in a thin line.

"Protect him? From what? You could not possibly think to hide this from us forever?"

"Why did you take me?" Loki found himself saying. Apparently his mind was working that much. And his voice only shook a bit.

"You were an innocent," Odin said, still glaring at Thor, "I could not leave you on the field of battle to die."

"No! Surely one more Jotun's blood would have made no difference that day of all days. _Why_?"

Odin's jaw set firm and hard, but his voice was even, his glare softening slightly as he looked at Loki, "I thought to bring a lasting peace to our realms, to unite them through you."

"Then why hide his heritage from him? From us all?" Thor demanded, and Loki distantly felt Thor's hand close around his wrist.

"The war had just ended. Even though we were victorious, many warriors had fallen in battle; families had lost husbands, fathers, sons, kinsmen. The people of Asgard would have reacted badly to Loki's heritage. In time-"

"Excuses! You were a coward then and you're a coward still!" Thor spat.

Loki felt the blood drain from his face. Thor had a positive knack for saying the worst possible thing at times.

Rage suffused Odin's features. "You will not speak to me in such a manner!"

"It is no more than the truth!" Thor bellowed, "You-"

Loki couldn't take it. "Thor," he barked harshly, breathing heavily, tears clouding his vision. "Let us leave."

"Leave?" Thor repeated in disbelief.

Loki gripped Thor's arm in turn, as tightly as he could, until metal armour bit into blue fingers.

For a second Loki thought Thor would refuse, but then he nodded, getting a rein on his temper.

Odin stood, jaw clenched, and Loki neither knew nor cared why there was no reprisal as he all but dragged a glowering Thor from the chamber.

"This is not finished," Thor growled at Odin in passing. Loki put his head down and dragged harder.

* * *

><p>AN: Yeah, the conversation is very similar to the movie in parts. However, since it's happening a century or two earlier, Odin isn't about to pop off into Convenient Odinsleep, and Thor's intrusion changes it somewhat.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Loki's head was spinning. His mind couldn't seem to fix on any one thought, or rather, it was trying desperately not to. In a world gone suddenly false and fragile, he half expected the floor to give way beneath him. Even here in his own chambers, he no longer felt safe. He wanted to rage, to smash the insubstantial lies that had been spun around him all his life, to reveal the ugly, maddening truth that would bring it all crashing down.

There was no curse. There never had been. He was…

Thor's hand on his shoulder halted his agitated pacing. "Loki." 

He'd forgotten Thor was even there. Loki thought he'd constructed a glamour before they left the Treasure Chamber, but if he had it was long gone, blue skin showing once again in all its hideous glory. Nothing made sense anymore. "It all makes sense now, doesn't it."

"What does?"

He was a monster. "Why I've never fit in." He wasn't Loki Odinson at all. "Why Father always loved you best." He heard the harsh edge of hatred enter his voice, and was powerless to stop it. No, he didn't want to stop it, because even hatred was better than the shifting nothingness.

"I don't think being a Jotun had anything to do with that."

Loki's head whipped around, shock and rage boiling like acid in his soul. "You-" he choked.

"No, I didn't mean-" Thor looked almost panicked, "I didn't mean that! Please, only think-"

"Think?" Loki spat, "I have had my fill of thinking. I have spent half my life trying to break a curse that doesn't exist, trying to cure myself of being a _monster,_ but there's _nothing to fix_! There's nothing to fix because I. Am. A. Monster!"

"There are no monsters here, Loki, brother-"

"Oho, and that's the ultimate lie, isn't it. 'Brother.'" Loki held up one hand, blue fingers curled claw-like, "Does _this _look like the brother of any Aesir?"

Thor grabbed his wrist, met his eyes for an eternal second, and defiantly pressed a kiss to blue skin.

"Stop that!" Loki grated harshly, jerking his hand away as if burned. "Stop it! Why do you continue this farce?" As if the knowledge was sufficient a barrier in itself, Loki felt no effect from Thor's kiss, no blushing coolness of returning Aesir appearance. Damn it all to Hel, he would not cry. "I am a Jotun, a monster, one of _them_, bro- Thor!"

"You are now and will always be Loki Odinson," Thor ground out, shoulders tense. "And you said yourself the Jotun were not always monstrous."

It was almost pitiful, watching Thor try to spar with words. Almost as pitiful as Loki trying to hit the Golden Prince of Asgard, but that didn't stop him. Thor easily redirected Loki's attack, grabbing slender wrists and holding tight.

"Release me!"

"Not until you come to your senses."

"No need to worry, I'm seeing things more clearly now than ever before." Loki snarled.

Thor's jaw set in that stubborn line Loki knew so well. "If you will not listen, then I will _show_ you."

"What- Release me!" Loki sputtered, furious, as Thor turned a deaf ear and dragged him out into torch-lit hallways where potential witnesses were too much a danger to ignore. Railing inwardly, Loki put up the lie once more, his Aesir glamour seeming to burn into his skin. "There is nothing to show, nothing to prove. You are merely lying to yourself if you think that we were ever more than strangers."

"No, you're wrong," Thor said stubbornly, and refused to say any more.

Loki hissed curses and insults at Thor, trying to break Thor's grip on his wrists. If he were only calm enough, he could use his magic to disappear; as things were, he stood a better chance of destroying half the palace than anything else, and himself along with it. The idea was not without merit.

Thor stopped only when they'd reached one of the open-air courtyards tucked away in the palace, golden walls rising up dark and black in the night with only a few scattered stars and nebulae looking on from overhead. The night air was still and silent.

"Whatever insane scheme you're hatching, it will _fail_." Loki sneered, jerking at Thor's iron hold, letting his disguise drop.

"Maybe," Thor allowed, looking grim in the shadows.

Thor kneeled on the cool grass, dragging Loki with him. Staring the red-eyed Jotun in the face, Thor released one wrist. Loki summoned a dagger and lashed out at Thor, but the warrior prince only shifted to let the sharp blade glance off his armour.

"Why will you not _fight me_?" Loki all but wailed.

"I will never fight you," Thor declared, even as he brought out his dagger.

Another lie? It felt as if Loki's chest was in a vice. He struggled to breathe, tears blurring his vision. It was too much.

Loki barely flinched when Thor slashed open his palm, near-black blood welled over hated blue skin.

But then Thor released Loki, and brought his dagger up to his own palm, cutting equally deep into warm Aesir flesh.

Loki looked on, stunned, as Thor firmly clasped their hands together, their blood mingling and dripping to the green grass under them. Aesir and Jotun together. "What-" He stared up at the fierce young man opposite him. Deeper than magic, something stirred.

"On Asgard's earth,  
>I, Thor, swear this oath,<br>To Loki shall I be ever true,  
>My clan shall be your kin,<br>My father and mother thine."

It was an old, rarely used invocation, and Loki was fairly sure Thor was getting parts of it wrong, but… Thor was looking at him, waiting, tense.

The air was heavy with significance and possibilities. It felt as if the Norns themselves were watching. He could reject this. In some ways a life of hate was easier, simpler.

Loki met Thor's gaze and held it. "On Asgard-" his voice broke, and he swallowed, breathing deep.

"On Asgard's earth,  
>I, Loki, swear this oath,<br>To Thor shall I ever be true,  
>My clan shall be your kin,<br>My father and mother thine."

Thor beamed, and Loki could almost feel the thread of his fate being laid on a new course.

Blood-brothers." Thor said jubilantly. "Witnessed by Asgard Herself."

Loki fought back the lump in his throat, casting his eyes down to their joined hands. The blue was receding, leaving warm peach-coloured skin in its wake. "Thor…"

"I would have you at my back in battle, and at my side in all things else. You are my true friend, my lover, my counselor, and above all, you are my brother."

Breathing deep, Loki clasped Thor's hand like a lifeline, faintly amused as blood squelched wetly. "As you are mine."


End file.
